" Happy 29th. "

to bf, happy 29th. i love u much. sorry for the entrys and whatsoever i've made you feel badly. you know i love you a whole lot lot. and today was great, just spending time with you and nobody else. =) heee.

well, just wanna update bout that. heee.

love you bf. =D

" The ball of everydays. "

yesterday. a day at temasek poly was fantabulous. it was fun fun fun. evn though the place was practically dead. from morning till evening. went there with mai jaz and qs. qs was early. heee. the starting part was oh-so lahh. we got free breakfast. =D and nobody else did. heee.

thn got to know a whole buncha people. people from all sorts of personalities. lets cut to the chase cause i wont explain in detail. we had games and all and the four of us grouped together with adam. and we got a cheng yao double. and the so cool mentors ever.

we got to know xavier, [the cutesy one in his own lil ways, which we're gonna bash up on uhh tmr? hahah] theres felix too [he said he's gonna run away from us if he ever sees us.] and his friend. thers the kevin [jaz fav.] theres patsy, juju and emily. hahahs. and uhhh, the twinns, bryan and and rusdy. hahaha. [the one.] muahahha. im so dead. but aizat u dont mind right? cause i love you. dude, i sayanng you. heee. *malu malu*self-conffesions*

well, they had the ice-breakers game and all and theres this one game you hadta find a partner of the opposite sex. jaz was head over heels with bryan. mai was stoned by sheikh and well, i got partnered up with adam. hey at least i knew him. cool huh. we played the games and all which was fun fun. time does fly when you're havin fun. the day was soo full of mockin and bad words. patsy juju and emily thought mai and jaz more words to expand their vocab.

at the end of the day, all of us exchanged numbers. i still have yet to get that rusdys one. hrmmph. thn we got almost most of the people numbers and sheikh and khairils one tooo. coool lah. i wish that was longerr. geees.

thn we headed off to interchange and bought bubble teas and slack ard. heee. thn saw firr. finaly ater soo longgg. it kept smiling all night.

so thats it.
i [love] you.

" Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright. "

it was an okay day today. the classes were a snooozer. yeah, till i lose my screw. not that screw in my head, but the one for my compass. =O hahahahs. and yess! im improving in my subjects! i likeee!!

now i understand what you meant by sayin being in a relationship can be emotionally stressful. darn right it is. and physically challenging to feel insecure for you and for me to know that i seriously have chnged. too good to be true for us both but we'll pull through. we'll pull through it together. that i know and i hope. i love you. cause at the end of the day you must say its all worth it. yes it is. =)

soo, i seriously cant wait for tuesday and wednesday and thursday and not forgettin MONDAY!! wheeee. lemmi list down wats happenin. hmmm. MONDAY - ITS THA 29th! heee. TUESDAY - movie marathons and coooking extravaganzas with mai and jaz. anyone wanna join in? muahahhas. WEDNESDAY - tchers day celebrations? soo loadsa picturess. i love it. hudaa! any planns?! and THURSDAY - a day at the beach wit the whole creww! wheeeee. and tmr a days out at tp. i likeee.

and im strting classes back at kembangan next week!! mirza started it without me. shit shit. i missed a lessonn alreadyy. but nvmm. and he said theres shawn? sawn? saun? i wondering whooo. hmmmm.

so thats it lahh.
i love you people. heee.
tooorasss.

" The best of everythingg. "

life has been great. for once, things are goin pretty fine. surely loads of wierdy stuffs are happening but i've learnt howe to put aside all troubles and just enjoy life while studyin hard. hmmm. actually im not studyin that hard lahh.

soo, i got 3 grade 2s for my tests. coool huh. i got 2s for english maths and bio. huahuahua. and and i got a 3 for malay CA. nvr did i accomplish that before. totally unexpected cause i really dint expect to get any As. i guess its just by sheer luck. or maybe my hard work. hmmm. i should give credit to myself, dont i? haha. but im gonna keep that gradess and improve on my otherrs. im so loving it.

fyi - i havnt studied for any prelims. just put it as , i havnt revised. evn if it seems like im doin so but most of the time im completin my assignments. so yeahh. i guess goin to the cc is sorta beneficial evn though i spend only like an hour or two there. studyin alone is okay okay but sumtimes with a buddy around, it will just brighten up ones day.

after sch slackin business with jaz mai and at times, my dude is fun. im just grateful to have such company. to some, it may seem that im stickin to him like glue. but thats the whole fun of it. sticking to him like glue. to know that evrything is ok or almost perfect.

i have a whole lot of moods lately. and i guess its gonna stay that way. it tend to be directed to only some, all or maybe only one. it seems evil but still, there dont seem to be a way just to put it aside. knowing me is what the other should know best.

napping in the evening has also become a daily routine. i know its a bad habit. but hey, to each his own right? uhh, i did get the correct phrase? nvm. and a whole lotta wierd things happened yesterday. you people should know.

mom bought me 2 skirts while shes at johor wit dad. and dad askd me to shorten one of it. and the other one was sorta tight. dad said it was okay and dont hafta change.

and i already know what im wearin from gp and the plans after that. im soo gonna have a blast with everybody.

mayb jaz and mai are bunkin over my crib. either that or we're stayin over late nights for movie marathons. hee. and we'll get popcorns and all just the day before tchers day celebrations. =)

and yeah, friday is another day with my dude. we're gonna get that thing done for the 29th. heeee. evn if its only the 2nd, im goin keep it and not loose it. i hope you wont. =D its soo gonna be sweet. *smilesss*

so thats it. tooraaas.

" Mummy, can i go to the beach to see the bitches on the beach? "

cute line huh? well, been using it since last time hah. rarely use it these days. relievin my ol quotes. ahhh. mai was shocked whn she heard me say that in the morn. but that was great. that asshole.

anyhoots, fridays have chnged from girlfriends day out to me and my boyfriend day out. yess. i get a jist of my girlfriend almost everyday. and no, im not sick of it. and time spent or wasted on the dummified-assholes are the greatest.

after school met up radha. that sicko. passsed her all her assignments and just sit at the bubble tea shop and talk shitts. thn went home wit mai.

soon after, met up my dumbass boyfriend. and yes, im late every week. and he doesnt mind. cool huh? thats why i love him so extremely the much. on the way to library, saw cass. she was headin to the beach. hmmm. i wondering. hahahhas. thn met mai and jaz. we thought of headin to the beach but it was scorching hott. ahhh. hahas. but i'll be there every alternate weeks. its a thingy thing thing. hee. i need a new slacking partner other thn that mai and my dumbass boyfriend!!! helpp!! anyonee!!

then went ard central till about three thn we teleported to bugis. watched the maid with my dumbass dude. show okay okay lahh. haha. and i got my za thingy. wheee. i like. i got my period like in the ending of the movie. tough luck huh. and no, he wasnt bein an absolute dearie either. more like, a paiin in my ass. haha. `ass like that. shhh~

got back to tamp. and he wanted to pooo. i want to poooo!! hahaha. revenge is so totally sweeeet. =)

and mom is such urggh-ratating!! she told me ben&jerry was on offer only when im boardin 292. sigghhh. that super new york chocolate fudge. but nvm, im goin tmr. mayb wit either mom or mai & jaz. o0oh tight. so much for third wheeels as the issue. look ard everone has a third dont theyy.

theres a logic behind evrything. and somehow, the stupidest people should noe.

i fouund that somewher in my mind. i guess it was from some place else lahh. haha. i soo love my everyonee. whoooshh i spent 2 hours writing this entry.

it has been all about you. so dont worry.

" The Third One "

sooo, today is tuesday and i've already spent quite a whole lott. mayb i should stop spendin, start fasting and start saving. hah! my sfs scheme!

class tee shirt came yesterday afternoon. evrything was screwed up but whatever lahh. as if anyone gives a daym right? annd i faild or gonna fail or surely will fail combine science. i soo need to brush up on a whole lotta things. oh, i will get that thousand bucks. dont worry. im gonna get that 5As. Just you wait and see.

talking bout trust, trust the people around me? around you? i guess me and you and the people should sooo much think twice. thats why trust has always been my issue. forgive and forget. uhh, yeah whatever.

theres no one i can turn to. not sayin i dont need or need anyone to turn to but sometimes i feel like i dont have that much of a problem to really fess up or anythin. the only friend i can turn to is him, some girlfriends, cousins, frens of different schools, outside babes, outside dudes and others lahh. uhmm, can i add neighbours in too? hahaha. ironic as it may be, but its true. nothin can go out of him and them. if they're gonna spill too, to whom may they do it? its not as if their friends care. am i right?

well, i dunnoe but thats it lahh. its just that, that and that. i apologise if anyone will terase by this few paragraphs. its not as if it is directed to youu. like i said, think.read.observe.

till next time. tooorass.

.Tell Him.

Let me be patient
Let me be kind
Make me unselfish
without being blind
though i may suffer,
i'll envy him not
and endure what comes
cause he's all that i got and tell him

Chorus:
tell him i need him
tell him i love him
and it'll be alright
tell him i need him
tell him i love him
it'll be alright

now i may have faith to make mountains fall
But if i lack love then i have nothing at all
i can give away everything i possess
but am without love then i have no happiness
i know i'm imperfect and not without sin
but now that i'm older all childish things end.

Chorus:
tell him i need him
tell him i love him

and it'll be alright
tell him i need him
tell him i love him
it'll be alright

i'll never be jealous and i won't be too proud
cause love is not boastful
oooh and love is not loud

tell him

need him
tell him,

i love him
everything is gonna be alright

Now i may have wisdom and knowledge on earth
but if i speak wrong then oooh what is it worth
see what we now know is nothing compared
to the love i was shown when our lives were spared
and tell him

tell him i need him
tell him i love him

- i havent been updating for quite some time right? nothing much goin on. actually, alot has been goin ard but im too lazy to update. yeahh.

so got a b4 for malay. im very extremely contented. heee. im soo happy for myself and thnks to cikgus i guess. wahahahs. yesterday oral was crap. hmmm but whatever lahh.

and a trip to the beach today was fab. just me and him and nobody else. i enjoyed my day. =)

and soo, to anyone out there - if you guys have any lauryn hills` songs, please please send me. and yes, this song is for you. check out the lyrics. its nicee.

=)

" Quando Quando Quando "

i lovve this version of the song. soothing aint it? and the vocalls are sweeet! heee. =D lalalasss.

soo lets get updated yeaa. weekends, headed to KL. mum n auntys had some weeding to attend to and i went there to just, shop and relax. but that dont seem to happen. dad letme withdraw some cash to shop. i soo wanna get DVDs and CDs. but almost all the shops hadta go through inspections soo, none of em sells those stuffies. got myself 5 tees. and im soo proud of me. hahas. ahould have gott more. =)

so got back yesterday night. darn tired. it was nice to hear his voice. heee.

todayy, had interhouse games. played floorball and handball. both silver! i likee. floorball could have scored a whole lott but i was too tired from handball. and they scored by an own goal. hah.

so after school just sat ard kc wit aizat and some otherrs lahh. tmr headin to esplanade wit him and mayb that asnim too? that'll be cool. and and i just wanna have funn. im soo loving it. loving him. heee.

boyfriends are great. both in terms of friendship and love. they're not soo bitchy like girlfriends. they're more relaxed and chill and everything else. and they wont get tooo caught up in the past.

so thats it.

" Oh wow. Look who's pretending now. "

things have been haywire. pretty much alot. alot alot of pretendings are goin ard. things that are totally bogus. and *pooof* yeah shit. nevermind, im not gonna put myself on the same level. urghh-ness.

my life is full of pathetic shitt. so much for saying i wouldnt care, but hey thats not happening. so i guess you must be doin a pretty good darn jobb. yes, im FUCKED UP.

suckedy-fuckified asshole lahh.

i need to kill someone. this is tooo irritatingg!! u fucking faggoty - maggot"S"!

anyhoots hmmm that baby loooks cutte. the family loooks cute. all in blackk!! hmmm. totally wickedd!!

and todays day trip out was fab but some things are just not worth pretending. ladida. and i fail phy and im uberly PROUD. i got 30 and i dint study. and im capable of doin better. much much better, EVEN IF I DONT STUDY.

and went to cc just now, just me and mai and aizat. and ohhh - we have niceee legsss. =D [excluding aizat] and i just let myself out to her. get things which are oh-so BOTHERING me. and gladly she feels the same. i felt so gooood after the TALK. umairahs operation turkey is soo not working. from 1 to 2, 3 to 5. where is the bloooodyy principal of fuckingly fairness?? in your fucking ass?! hah!

that aizat sent me home. and i saw TWIGGY!! hahahhaha. =D nvm aizat, i LOVE you and only YOU. heeee.

so thats it.

i love my beloest friend alot alot.
i love my dude, AIZAT *ehem* alot alot!
i love me, myself and i alot alot.

who cares about the displacement of grp 7 - halogens. from 1 to 2, 3 to 5.

bye ass shittt.
muahahahah.

" I'll be my own bestfriend, impossible as it may be. "

i've been rather low.shitified.messedup.lost.and etc etc etc lahh. dont ask me why cause i dont know. i just want to curl up into my bed and sleeep till forever. i dont want to go through this life anymore. its typically everywhere!

maths was shiits. probability to be exact. i suck with big numbers. i suck at making poeple feel good if they're down. i suck at consoling. Its just not my thing. i just SUCK at it. thats all.

and yes, this runny nose is still running its way up and down my nose. its bein a pain actually. a pain in my ass!

Nothing fits me like it did before.

The unhappy me is no longer there

Instead I revel in my life,

my pathetic existence.
And if I bang my head to Deftones and Korn,

if I scream my fucking lungs out

and sleep all day

leave me alone when I say,

I'm fine.

I am living the best I can.

loves`.

" Shoot me, and i'll leave you alone. "

school of rock finals was okay. the atmosphere was alright. the crowd was, uhmm, oh-so lahh. the bands can sayy, good. the solos were magnifiq. especially the one by this 2nd last group, starts wit D. and and he's cute tooo. heee. =X

no times dude at sight but loads of familiar faces. alot alot. still, i couldnt make out who they were. the stench of sweat was overwhelming. but, nvm. joe said he was there. funny, dint see him ard. hmmm.

bodies were packed one to one. we were also amongst them. took a break after the fifth band. sat down at macs. he came by. with his mum and dad. hmmmm. and my mum was next door at kfc, beside her too, sat one hott guy. cuteness. uh-huh. hmmmmm.

thn went back up and watched tha remaining bands perform. yada yada yada lahh. thn thers special guest performance by marian ravin. [however the spellin is] it was nice.

after the show and all, went to novena to meet mum cause granny got admitted to hospital for many many things. kidney, lungs, chest, etcetcetc. but shes out already. phewww. i hope thers no more bad news. and mom said the malay doctor was kind of cute and nice and simply just clean-cut. hah. imagine that.

im sick. sick of everything. family - friends - home - this bloody four walls - and school especially. things can be great but i get ticked off easily. i tend to love to hate more often these days. thats just me. i dont trust people. whoooa - trust is a very very big word. or say, bein on good terms with that "friend" evn if they feel otherwise. [[and, to my pals, om not pointing fingers at anyone. this is like in general kinda view.]] its not as if i can forget the whole bloody scenario and just say, " okayy sorry. lets just be friends and forget bout this matter and move on." mayb you should just, uhhh, dream on? call me whatever, but i dont care, thats your fucking problem. i may be the one whos picking up the broken pieces together, but im not gonna be the one who is goin to be piecing up the pieces up back together like one perfect piece. mayb after this, you'd think im crude. but that is just how i feel. too much is kept inside.

humans hate.

i know that my entries are gettin more and more boring. they're gettin more morose, reticent, self-professed, egalitarian and tendenly poignant, yet distinctly poised with nuance. haha. sounds familiar. u-huh. im learning and expanding my vocabulary skills. =)

so thats it i guess. shitified life. but i hope none of my friends will go back to -i shall cut myself cause thats the only thing i have control over- attitude. ive been there , done that. and its plain dumb. no offence but try something else, eat ; sleep ; hangout ; have fun ; loose yourself! life is about fun. not anything else. sighhh.

``so much for everythingg.