I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'm gonna hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna love you more than anyone.

hello blog. im done done done with my papers. yeay. =) hello hollies. hello chalets. hello hello hello.

ahh. i dont know whats wrong with me nor do i know what kind of illness im getting. my head is driving me nuts and the weathers not helping either. my eyes, they can barely open for a long period of time. even if i try to, i`ll space out like seriously. if my mind goes elsewhere and my eyes go bye-bye. i can just come crashing down to the floor without noticin it. ahhh.

my boyfriend is goin bali tmr. =( nisa is sad. im gonna miss him. and my girlfriends goin malaysia tmr too. =( nisa is doubly sad. ahhh. im gonna miss her too. hmmmm.

weekends without anyone. weekends are just for nisa time this time round.

oh. icecream is nice when you`re fallin sick. ahh. and whats up with people givin me only one tablet of panadol. i need two! ahh. panadols are my sweeets if i cant go to bed. ahh.

oh! and i have discovered 2 male singers that really can make me space in a daze. gavin degraw andd elliot yamin. though his album iis not out yet. theyre nice and yummy. haha. okay, minus the yummy part. and jc chasez cd will be out next year. and did i tell you justins new single is like hot? not the kind i listen to but it sounds nice. =)

ahh. i need my bed and my teddybears.
nights.

chiaoo.

" Hello 29. =) "

yes yes. it is the 29 already. =) yeay. we're 14 months through. im happy. i hope the boyfriends happy too. cause i love him soo. =)

oh. and i have 2 more papers to go. tmr will be hap. i hope i`ll pull through. blahs. and maybe studying dfund tmr after the paper. and that is what im worried about. well, maybe only a little bit.

thn its the holidays. mom i wanna go to bangkok! and shop! haha.

okay. wish me luck for the papers.

ahh. i love my boyfriend. =)

chiao.

Christina Aguilera - Without You
Have I been blind?
For the first time in my life
I feel I've opened up
My eyes
Since you've arrived
Like an angel from the sky,
I'm on a spiritual high

So don't you ever go away
I could never face
Losing you
Would kill my faith
In a higher place

What kind of world
Would it be without you?
I couldn't breathe without you near
What kind of world
Would I see without you?
I can't dream without you here

Beautiful boy,
How on earth did I do something
Worth deserving you?
My better half
How I cherish through and through
Every part of you
I do

Loving you's made me whole
Now I belong,
I found my home
Promise me we'll always stay
The way we are today

I can't ever imagine
If this never had happened
Oh, I thank God everyday
Almost lost you forever,
But I always remember
That you're my saving grace

" You saved me from myself. "

soo, i did 2 papers of ckt. yeay. haha. =) and i have 2 more to goo. =)=)

so, after a few hours of sitting on that chair, doing ckt while refering to lalas soulution and blasting music from the laptop, eating almost a whole packet of sweets and a plentifull of water and teh, i stopped! anticlimax ehh. haha. and somehow, the laptop is soo panas, i cant even touch the touch pad for a long time! and somehow, when you`re resting and cant do much or basically, theres nothing much to doo on the laptop, the screensaver opened . and somehow, in some or many ways, the 3D pipes grabbed my attention. haha. lame, i know. but it relaxes my mind. as quirky as that may sound. =)

and yes, maths is over. i`ve calculated and expected to pass up on the last 2 qs if they were to come out during the paper. and it did. so, i did wrote crap hoping to score a few or none of the sympathy marks but the rest were okay. after calculations before and after the paper, if my deduction is correct, im losing only 22 marks.

and i said ONLY cause i dint know how to do and losing 22 is not that much since i dint know how to do the questions. but if i did know and i dint apply what i know than i would gladly take back the "ONLY". haaha.

and i got my oc back from arif. *smiles* haha. my season 2 is like crap already. i wonder if i could ask my dad to psycho that dvd seller at city square or whatever square in johor to change the whole season back. hmmm. thn i shall have the whole of the oc seasons in very good working condition. and since the holidays are like coming for i dunnoe how long (i misplaced the handbook so i dont when and till when the hols are) i can watch like back to back of seasons 1 to 3. hah! boring to most but its heaven to me. whatmore during the fasting month and i have got nothing more to do thn be a couch potato on well, my bed! =D

okay. and ive decided on screwing dfund. i`ll write or do only on what i know. it would be a miracle if i pass and if i didn`t, i wouldnt mind sitting for the supp paper. haha. im planning everything before the papers and also after. so i wont feel for doing bad for the paper or make myself feel bad for failing when the results are out cause it is kind of expected.

i think for today, this is a long enough entry. hmm. i got work to do. i need to wash up, pray, relax till 745-8.00 and strt again on the other two papers. oh, im so in love with christina aguilera. =)

and 2 days more till our 14th 29! =) oh lovees.

chiao.

" The Right Man. "

added a few more songs.

Highlight of todays entry, listen to the vocals of Christina Aguilera in this song, The Right Man. she sounds good both live and recorded. i guess the dream for the idols to be as good or even better thn her is like the same dream this country has for our football clubs to be in the finals of the world cup.

ok. i so need her latest cd now. it should be in stores already, right?

chiao.

Your frown lingers as day turns to night.
you feel in the dark,
let me help you see the light.
I will show you what your eyes cannot see,
teach you how to smile, just like me.

Hold my hand so you dont fall,
be your greastest friend of all.
Don't hold back, let me inside.
I'd never forgive myself, if you cried.
Let me wipe the tears from your eyes,
tommorow i hope you awake to blue skies.

I know you have it in you,
you can win this fight.
open up your all and we will take off in flight.
For tommorow will bring another day,

and here for you forever I'll stay.

=)

hello. bloog. i got a new phone after much wait. i got a sony. =)=) exams are in few days time. i dont know why, but studying is just not in the list of things to do. i hope last minutes work for me this time round.

im irritated by what the gf told me. hey, i feel your pain. complain and get her fired or screw her shitless.

ahh, im trying my best to hang on and not screw up anything. i cant carry on crying each night while tryin to sleep. im just scared of whats to come. im trying to be strong. im doing my best to be there. things are so brittle and screwed. i dont want it to shatter to pieces youdontknowtillhowmany. im lost. and down. and idunnoe. =(

ahh, bye blog.
i wanna xplore mr sony.
somehow, i miss the motor.

oh yes, a quote from my uncle, "$600 only. dont need to get the line, i`ll buy for you the phone. " he is definately the greatest. hah. but things like parents do exist for that matter.

chiao.

We'll do it all, everything, on our own
We don't need anything or anyone

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace to remind me
To find my own

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
I just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

-Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.

" Maybe I`m amazed at the way i really need you. "

so everything is fine now. the unknown you is not keeping me up all night nor is it causing me any disturbance. im happy. yeay. =)

wont be explaining in detail what i did for the past few days. just brief ones i guess like met the bf, hung out at teh, met the gf, hung out at times, yada yada yada.

oh yeah, i visited ivor in cgh on friday. =) that bum looks fat and chubby and soo white like he`d seen a ghost. hmmm. =/

and i reaallyy need my oc now. i let arif borrow it since he wants to finish off his 3rd season. but but i want my oc, real bad.

ah whatever.
chiao.

" I'm leaving the one im suppose to take. "

somethings keeping me up all night for the past nights. something is bothering me. it sends shivers from head to toe. and its costing my nights rest and sleep. i`ve been sleeping late. late as in real late. sorry bf for not tellin. and the most funny part is that im not gonna be that tired the day after.

im distracted, disturbed perhaps. by idunnoewhat.

i want this feeling out of me. as much as i wanna let it all out i cant. cause i myself dont know whats tearing me apart. no, i dont have any problems currently. none wih the boyfriend. none with the girlfriend and none with my other friends. at least that is what i tell myself.

maybe its a phase? or a joke?

maybe people are watchin me through the thin glass of the tv screen lauhging at my every despair or happiness and seeing that actually, my life is nothing more than a big series of episodes that goes on and on and its growing on people. and its the next lost/oc/csi or whateverfamousshow you have on the telly.

i miss my yayi. seeing old men and women walking past, struggling through life, makes me want to see him again for the many "very last time" before he goes.

this very bad feeling is well, spreading. something bad is going to happen. the feeling is horrible. i dont want to lose anyone. at least not yet or not ever.

please go away. i dont need you right now whoever or whatever you are. please make yourself known and in every way, i'll try my best to get rid of you. and maybe when next time comes, the time where you decide to come popping by again trying to pull me deep into an ocean full of nothing other than misery, i know i`ll be ready to take you head on or just try to let you slip by. cause i know it wont be the first nor the last time i`ll have to go through you again.

i`ll try to run and hide. in any means nessessary. but i know you`ll manage or will find me somehow.

but for now, go away.
im unstable. will explode or just go astray at any moment.
i need the whole of myself, to get back on my two feet.
once done, i need to find myself so as to go back from where i left off at the time you came and destroyed the shield made around me from things like you.

Jem - Maybe I`m Amazed.
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
and hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe I'm a lonely girl
who's in the middle of something
that she doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe you're the only man
who could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me understand

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe I'm a lonely girl
who's in the middle of something
that she doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe you're the only man
who could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me understand

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
Right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you.

" Hate will get you everytime. "

hello. ok, so i added 2 more songs. listen okay? click arrows on the player. both from the oc soundtrack. =)

this is going to be random cause im dead bored and got nothing better to do. please dont start about studyin. cause that is like the very last thing on my mind right now. im soo not in the mood to open my books to study. hmmm.

i guess my trips to the cc will be back once next monday starts. hmm. study weeeek. gotta study. gotta mug. gotta pass. not expecting any As. not that i look down on myself but i was never the one to want to score high. i`ll be contented with anything as long as its a pass.

overconfidence much? for not studyin? nah.

dont get me wrong but i dont force myself to study unless the need arises. im not like other people who can go on and on for hours studying. i guess a lil bit of the boyfriends and perhaps the girlfriends mindset on exams has rubbed off on me. i dont need nor do i want (no offence) studious people around forcing me to study. thanks for your concern and care i really do appreciate that. but i prefer to do thing my way if you get what i mean.

if i fail and have to repeat thn so be it, right? everything happens for a reason. hmmm.

my life is a book. story perhaps. theres more to everything. not making sense am i?

okay. i need / want a new skin. i want to travel. hmmm.

afiqah, lets dig the grounds of the singaporean`s backyard and become gold diggers. keep the nice ones and make our own diamond or gold trading business in exchange for money to get what we want. hmm.

okay. fireworks on saturday was nice. i felt guilty for not leting the boyfriend snap any pictures since i told him i want a me&you time. it was a nice night. =)

babe, i want more me&you time.

i want more meetups with the hunnie. and lets talk till dawn. bitching about everyone i sight and in mind. i wanna meet that radha too. and and and i wanna meet more people.

i want to catch up with everyone, pleasE?

okay. long stupid random entry.
bye.

" Talk about obsession, pfooof. "

okay, like seriously, i am obsessed with oc. bleahhs. obsessed, crazily obsessed. hmm.

im bored. skipped school today. =) it would be a drag and a wasted trip if i were to head down to school since, i think, it was only an hour deal. hmmm.

i need cds/vcds/dvds. im done with oc. i want more. blahhh. and tmr shall be another trip to marina for the works of fire. okay, lame. i hope.

bye poeple.
my blogs officially dead as from today.

bye.

" I would choose you everytime. "

okay. so when i said i went e-shopping, i went to look for the obvious. hmm. so like, i browsed and browsed anddd i settled on something . . . .

The O.C Season 3. like duh! what else is there to search other than clothes. hahah.

and after much wait, (actually not that long lah, only 2 days) the dvds are like in my hands and on tv! mauhahhaha. and ryan dunnowho is HOT. o0o. sizzling. =)=)

okay, stop it nisa. you have exams coming.

and the left side of the shoulder (usually the devil) says "aaah! who gives a damn!"

okay okay. enough. i guess, other than writoral and dfund test this thursday, school is a waste of time. friday theres like less than an hour of school only if one decides to do make up labs. ahh.

oh, and fireworks tmr, anyone?
hmmm. well, be there or be square.
haha.

chiao!

" Somewhere along the bitterness. "

i`ve doing alot of window, or should i say browser, e-shopping lately. hahs. and eyeing quite a whole loatta stuffs. god knows how much money i need. hmmm.

and i need money since my motor is like officially dead and dunzo. hah. i need a new phone. as usual the 6610 is bein one fat bitch. one big big big one i tell you. haha. i want w800i, pleasse.

and my oc season 3 is like on the wayy! whipeee. like everyone says, bad timing. whoaas.

sem exams in 2 weeks time. im still doin nothin bout it. and writoral is on thursday. so im like screwed.

and adidas perfumes are the new raulph lauren? haha. they smell yummylicious. and im a proud owner of one. wheee. chip and chic baybeh!

okay, im done here.
bye!

" Some nights keep me awake. "

i had pasta today! Twice okay! haha.

you give nisa pasta with loadsa cheese on top, and you have got yourself a years supply of a bestfriend nisa`s style. hahas. oh oh, especially get me those from sunflower vegetarian at fareast. i want the aglio olio. yummm.

haha. and The Oc yesterday was simply fabulous laa. haha.

i need an 18 year old to get me the tickets to the show Thank You For Smoking, which apparently has ADAM BRODY. grr. anyone 18 pleaase tag at my blog. grrr.

okay, lifes boring.
this entry is boring.

hmm. thats it.
bye blog.