its nice to know you're doing okay, without the help of anything.

its not that i want things to turn out this bad but it did. i hope you'll do fine & i still care and i still worry for you. i am still, just a phonecall away if you need me, for anything. i hope to see you soon. if ever thats possible.

it has come down to whatever.

its not that i dont care, its more of like, i have got anything left to say.

on the day i decide to wear my f21 berms instead of my fbts, i fell, on my butt (left butt to be exact), TWICE in a night while blading. but we (mostly me) had a good laugh at myself at the end of the day.

Twice, omg, twice.

its kind of sad & irritating cause i feel like constantly, my life is under a microscope.

my every move is being observed and plotted down into this little log book.

till when?

Change is never easy. You fight to hold on and you fight to let go. By the world's standard we'll never be perfect. But for some reason, with you, i feel perfected. I like the fact that someone like you sees something in me.
- One Tree Hill
(:

i miss, i miss, my OC!
):
reruns shall be done soon.
where is my season 1 to 4 now, hmmmm.

nisa is happy. (:
cause over this weekend she got two new babies.
she finally got her blades and and and a gold credit card!
i dont know how to use and i dont wanna know how to use it cause i know once i start knowing how to use it, oh i dont think i have to explain further. hah.


i cant wait for every saturdays where i'll get to blade after work!
it's time to save money people.
okay, chiao. (:

as much as how the outcome of whole situation seem to be ultimately surreal and entirely impossible,
i got to get through this, i have to.
sleepless nights, i wont welcome you with open arms, go away.

sigh.

):

okay, birthday updates! (okay, its no biggie but i just wanna blog about it)

okay, my birthday morning was sucky (as in really early morning, wee hours morning) . i swear to god it was the worst start to a birthday. =( then in school, i knew i was going to get sabo-ed cause anyone who has their birthday during this MP/SIP period will surely do. hah. and and and i got up later and treated myself to a cab ride to school. -_- actually, i pampered myself alot this 19th birthday. okay shall go onto that later.

so so so, i was in the canteen having my nice mee rebus amongst many students who are also having their breakfast. then Zul came, with Ellis and the rest singing a birthday song for me in front of everyone in the canteeen. i was embarassed (a whole lot actually) but it made my morning! (:

thn i got to meet my dearly missed Umairah ! had super late dinner with her and Khai and Mehvish too. even if the plans dint go as follows, im still happy at how the day turned out. (:

at the end of the day, i got one big lollipop, 2 pink carebares (!!), cake all over my face, tons of birthday wishes in school - smses - friendster - online (thank you all!), a Sunflower Cupcake Cake ( =D), Ripcurl dress and a Ripcurl Bag! (: oh & i kinda treated myself to 4 teeshirts, 2 bikini tops, another vest (which looks like a baby carrier from the back ): ), a nike sports bra, many cab rides (=/) & i dont know what else. hah. & i have yet to get these pair of berms & glasses!

& post birthday celebrations; dinner with the girls tmr and aizat the day after. a new job tryout on sunday, a surprise celebration on monday (maybe?) chalet at the end of the month with the family & & & (best still) money to get my blades & accessories (present from mom & dad!) !

okay thats about it, i'll post the pictures once almost all the post birthday celebrations are done. its indulging week baby! & happy Nineteeth, to me! (:

ps; the picture below is just to show you how adorable my little kitty (which is is not growing) is! *pls ignore the eyebags.

a phonecall , for a Happy Birthday is all i could ever hope for.

thats my birthday wish.

for what its worth, i havent had a proper sleep for the past 2 nights.
truthfully, i miss you and i should stop crying myself to sleep.

every single thing i do comes back to you.

im sorry.

okay, today i have accomplished alot, in terms of physically. today nisa jogged 1.2k and did 6 laps in the pool (back and fro = 1 lap) ! see see see! for one i cant believe i woke up at 0830 to meet them at 1000 to jog, on a sunday, and, i did jog! and the second thing is that i did not only do one lap, i did six! so yes, happy much. and im proud of me even if to you (after reading this), is nothing much.

this is going to be a weekly sunday affair cause im very much banned to work on sundays. wait till next week comes and im going to be with a pair of blades so i'll hope we'll be blading and swimming and maybe gymming? hah. The 'operation lose flabs' is on people.

and i dont really care whether im posted to work or not for the weekends cause people at work are pretty much childish & immature. & i still believe , friends or not, everyone has their own hidden agenda in what they wanna accomplish there (which i dont know what really you can accomplish at wild wild wet) . theres too much bickering goin' round. and a lot of people left and its no fun. and the new people are pretty much, bleah. but i know the thing i miss for not working the weekend would be playing with the kids at shiok river and tsunami. and eating on their very expensive cakes. hah. (:

//sidetrack ; im sorry for everything that has happened yesterday. i know it didnt make sense 3/4 of the time, to you, but i think its better. we'll meet soon and in time to come. who knows, things might work out better next time round. i'll miss you, definately and i all i could ever wish for is for you to eat and rest well and to not overuse anything. im here, everytime, a phonecall away, if you need me. i'll always be here, always.

okay, i need to keep my heads up cause my birthday is in like, uhm, 3 days time! i cannot wait cause i dont know whats going to happen. i hope i get nice nice presents and cakes and money. (:

okay i think, my entry is long enough. chiao people. (: