& then you came around again,

saying those 3 words that i've been meaning to hear.

oh, you dont know how much i've been missing you, everyday.

okay, i think, im thinking toooooo much.

ok, stopppppp.

I was, just a passenger in this ride,

happy to follow along.

Im my own driver, today.

& im speeding in the fast lane, blindfolded,

firmly fastened around my head.

Im certainly moving,

but im not sure where im heading to,

i dont know wheres my destination,

cause once again,

im leaving it to fate&coincidence to take me there.

i think my fish has gone into depression.

it looks so lonely and sad.

hmmmmm.

&blogging is boring. =/

1 down, four more to go!

this, this silence, is getting too loud.

i need to break free.

fuck.

i want to update something, just something.

but i cant, cause my emotions change too quickly.

i can be happy, and i know you can tell that too,

but theres always, always something to bring me down again.

i just dont like how one bad thing leads to the other.

this is tooooo depressing.

i need to borrow a shoulder, your shoulder, cause i want everything out of my system once and for all.

hmmmm, sorry, =/

it makes it all harder to leave.

i dont know why im still crying when i've already built my walls around you.

i thought it would be easy, but it would never be cause,

i still need you.

Bintan was lovely.

no no, i mean the resort i stayed in, was lovely.

cause i have my very own private infinity pool to swim bout in and my own buggy (the golf car, in case you dont know) to go around the wholee resort in, (which i figured out that i suck at driving!).

my resort was facing the never ending sea and its like living in my own OC, where i become Ryan, living in the pool house, overlooking the sea.
(even if its just 4days, but stilll)

i very so much love that place but it cost a bomb, but definately i'll be going there again.
i just need to keep telling myself that all the bumpy waves are worth the trip, especially if you have the infinity pool at your disposal! (:

haha, chiao!

yesterday,

i got the most nicest feeling hug since i dont know when.

the moment was there and it was perfect, to just be there with you, watching the fireworks.

thank you for yesterday as it was a beautiful night accompanied by a plenty of very much beautiful company.

i couldnt ask for anything better.

I love you,

like a whole lot,

anddd,

im going to miss you!

i know this is going to sound sincerely insane but,

Adam Brody makes me happy, at least looking at his pictures make me happy.

pathetic i know.

but i think, he's the one thing that stops me from thinking too much.

i'd like to think things dont suck, but who am i kidding.

i dont know but todays Sunday,

is just too quiet,

& i get lonely.

all these going out with the boyfriend and phat and the girls, and bumping into both old& current friends, is making me miss my girlfriend like very very very very very very badddddddd.

UMAIRAH I MISS YOU!

hmmmm.

i wish i could change, i wish i could change
i wish i could stop saying the same old things
i wish i could be who you want me to be
i iwsh i could stop being the same old me
i wish i could lose all of my blues
i wish i could stop putting my blues on you
i wish i could love like nobody loves
i wish that my girl told me my bad seemed up

Robin Thicke - Complicated

the super sinful double chocolate chip muffin from famous amos is sitting right on the study table, staring at me, waiting, just waiting, for it to be devoured. hmmm. i bought it this afternoon but still have not taken a bite, just yet. cause im bloated like fuck.

should i, or should i not. hmmm.

random~