" Hyperactive mood. Set. "

okays okays. soo to make my tagboard much much more livelier, i gotta update. hee. thts wad nj said. lolx. wads tdae fer mie is full of laughters kinda dae. it started from tha moment i set foot in tha freakin skewl till tha moment it ends. actually not really lah. but still 3/4 of my tyme were wasted on laughinn. i must b very ticklish tdae. hmmm. i wonderr. haha.

hmm. reached skewl. in tha morn mai was already tellin mie bout this fatz gurl. haha. we were bored yesterdae nyte. n she go read tha archives of ppls blog. haha. thn in tha parade square she go tell mie bout a tha desperate housewifes show. haha. very disgustin but kinda funn. must watch it tonight. hope my parents sleep extra early cause i noe they wont let mie watch this sorta shows. why am i evn updatin when i needta study fer bio n phy tmrr?! ahhh. im dead meat. haha.

thn in chem i was lauffin my head off. haha. dun ask mie why. haha. radha n phat was pretty irritated. cooll. i passed my chem ! haha. unexpected. i got 15/20. haha. great great. but i failed malay. haha! i got like 20/50. told ya my karangan was crap. my malay is goin down man. haha. i was still lauffin. fer sum unknown reasons. haha. thn afta skewl had english ec. very sleepy one. wit evrythin in place, dark room, tcher blabberin crap. all is left is fer mie to make a pillow out of my hands n sleep. haha. ec is sucha waste of my tyme. lucky moro i wont hafta attend ss ec. haha. i got dental again! heee.

afta skewl got home. played comm. took a nap. eat. blablabla. norrmal stuffs. hee. thn thats it lah. i wanna study butt i feel like ther no point in studyin. phat will get what i mean. haha. wednesday would b camp already. haaa. can i go to rooftoppys ferst ferst bfo i go to camp camp. puhlease? hee.

c ya ppl ard. toodles! i miss kitty kitty. sobbs.

"Somehow, im missing that someone."

gee. im bored. extremely bored. i actually dunnoe wad ta update bout. i bet this gonna b a short short entry. thers nothin on tv. nuthin to do online. all i haf is nothin actually. see, im blabberin crap crap. haaa. `faints.

tdae had both tuition n madrasah. i sound like sum goodie ass. heh. mayb i am lah. i dunno lah. tuition i did bio. i was distracted. i admit tht my mind is not on tha books. it was sumwher else lah. i dunnoe if i was grinnin to maself or not. all i noe is tht i wasnt payin any attention. i was daydreamin. o yess. n bio is on tues. cant seem to get tha freakin facts inta ma head. mayb moro i'll study. see howe things go lah. fer madrasah studied a while n listened tha tcher talked bout the end of tha werld is nearin n all. n its intrestin. n makes mie wonder more. but i dunt have tha tyme to like go into further detailed research. heh. i dun haf tht much free time.

yest slept ard 2? dint really haf a peaceful sleep. no idea whys. aniwae todae at night at night i feel like goin out. uhh, u can? i wanna get tha hersheys. hehe. can can? alah. bored lah duk pat rumah. sick of this four walls again n again.

so thts it. byess.

Her emotional pain was too much to bare
But she didn’t feel that she could share
So she cut away her emotional pain
If she’s lucky maybe she’ll hit a vein

Late at night that’s what she does
She can’t even remember who she was
Before she become so depressed
And started keeping her feelings repressed

No one saw through her mask
No one even thought to ask
So inside is where it stayed
And that is why she used a blade

That was her way to release
A way for her to maintain her peace
The thoughts in her mind were dark
They attack her like a blood thirsty shark

Thoughts of death and thoughts of life
It makes her life a terrible strife
She thinks so often of letting go
Just cut too deep and watch the blood flow

"I want you to want mie."

o craps. i wrote a long long entry n this freakin com crashed. daym it. n nowe i hafta recall evrythin n ryte it all over again. sheesh. k nvm. aniwae todae, phat hadta like go thru all ma mood swings. which i think is tha most major one lah. pity youu. hehe. sorry aytes. i was like so tired todae. n wen im tired n dont get tha sufficient amount of sleep n rest i need. my mind kinda will just loose it lah. so thn i'd b goin thru all the moods. in skewl just nowe fer tha amaths periods i almost dozed off. heh. n afta skewl i kinda was ina bad temper. heh. n wen we settled down at mac. i was daym hypeerr. dun ask mie in wad kinda sense. n ive been talkin pretty dirrty stuffs these days lah.i'll get to tht later. hee. just wait.

so niwaes, in tha early early morn. we - mai phat n mie presented our mummy dearest radha wit thiyara! n people please take note of tha spellin kaes. its thiyara not tiara. haha. happy burfdae again babe! n ita a very soffty brownie teddy which stands till ard ma knee ther. tall kann?! hee. its cute man. its from us n mei2 n thiyagu. if u guys are clever enuff u'd noe why tha name thiyara came up. hee. but why wud u guys bother ryte. nvm nvm. thn we got her a card. n i found her this naughty2 poem. hehe. `room full of boys. heh. we gave her without tha plastic bag so she gotta carry it lik tht. n she walked around tha whole skewl wit it. durin mt classes n evn brought it down to th s.a.c. n we were like sum idiotic turnin to 16 year oldd kidds talkin playin n teachin n blabberin crap to tha teddy in from of sec ones n tooos. hehe. nashrun was in tha sac also. he so tha malu2. ape da adk. n mie n phat calls hes fren tha sec 2 cute guyy. haha. all this are keturunans of tha 206 trilogys. haha. 206-es rule my werld!

thn had p.e. like finally we played floorball or streetbandy or watever. yeay! its been long since i touched tht stick. ahh. my hockey stick too i dint touch. haha. n it was fun n we scored. i lovve floorball. can whack people n main kasar. im soo evill. hehe. im soo gonna take up floorball wen i reach poly or sumthin. no hockeys. haha. aniwae cher, tha hockey match strts on tha 14th. u cumin down huh? if u are can gimme a buzz? i wanna tag also lah. pls pls pls? okyys? i wanna get updated on evrythin! haha.

afta skewl followed phat to popular fer a while. n i browsed thru all tha v daes cards. they were so sweet. i noe we're notta celebrate it. but then tha thought of sumone whu actually really cares for you takin all tha t yme they haf just to let u noe they care remember n love you is really sumthin lah. im so touched n im missin tht feelin lah. i wanna get emo-shit. but in a good wae kinda emo. haha. is ther sucha thin? o nvm lah.

thn just got home. played comm fer awhile. thought of goin outs or `hangin outs. but then no one was like free or sumthin n summore we arent on talkin terms so it makes it hard to hang out on fridaes or sumthin. i miss those tyme wit em. so just snoozed till ma dad gets angry. hah. he was blabberin sum crap lah. u see, i dont care!

i just hate sittin at home on fridae. we're suppose to like rejoice 't.g.i f!' [thnk god its fridae] but then its like its soo borin. fridae skewl ends early n usally it wud be fun if we were to head to town or just chill sumwher. just to end tha hectic week befo tha weekends strt. to enjoy tha tymes lah. crap crap. i wanna go sneak out at nights. i feel like doin so. i wanna see howe tha night is like. nightlife. but then i cant possibly like go out alone ryte. imma gurl. temptations to guyss. heh. n ive been like talkin dirrty this few daes. dont ask mie whys. hehe. my minds contaminated. its fun hearin ma frens sayin tha `ewwws. hah. sorry ah gurls. hehe.but thts just mie. i noe its not wad is expected of a gurl lah. but wat to do. thts just mie. `smiles. n guys if u hate mie fer bein this dirrty. thn all i can sae is tht u can hate mie all u want. i dont give a daym. i'll take care of ur hearts once ur willin to accept mie. tha real mie. tha real mie not evn ma gurls noe off. hee.

well. i feel like ive revealed alot alot bout mie tdae. heh. anywae thts it lah. tatas.

im bored. i need to set ma this foot outta this housse.

"You, you, you make mie smilee."

uh-hmm. im bored. haha. if it was phat shed sae im forever bored. heh. wad can i say. my lyfes a dull. n i got super glue all over my fingers! shits! its soo, soo wads tha weerd again? `scratch head. haha. i dunnoe.

im bored. im tired. i need sleep. but i need fun too. n not fergettin huggys n kissies. haha. n also uhh. u guys shud noe, chocolates! nyahaa! chocos. yumms. its been long. but but, i feel like im growin fatter. daym! haha. must slim slim down. i dreamm. im officially crappin. i dun think i make any sense at all.

so yest slept late late. uhh. 2 plus. is it late? well, its late late fer mie lah. actually i was asleep at 11. thn rafie called so terbangun. haaa. he wanted help wit bloggy. so sians. as if he will update. he'll just put it up fer show. =X i hope he's not readin this. hehe. thn afta that talk talk2. blablabla. thn went online. chat chat chat. wit you! haha. tha spirit that roams around 124. mayb only at tha sixth floorr lah. not 10th. hmm. i wonnderr. haha.

and also had 2 tests yest. both malay! hancur2. haha. i can sae my karangan is tottaly crap. if i can pass tht'll b good enuff already. thn afternoon had mt bandin so gotta do paper 2. kinda okay lah. but i dun understnd most of tha crappy werds. sobsob. blablabla.

thn tdae, english had compo ca. n also chem. both i think im gonna flop. english uhh i chose tha topic bout tha worse decision ive ever made. heh. i wrote bout sum stuffs mie gettin bored. asked sumone outs thn wenta club or sumthin n tha story goes on wit stuffs which is kinda dirrty. haha. im tottaly loosin it. muahaha. n to imagine i wrote it in ma compo. i wonder wad ma tcher gonna sae bout it. hmmm. thn chem, heee. i dint study, just glanced thru tha book. definately a lot alot of wrong answers. heh.

had house meetin just nowe. kinda craps lah. but i signed up fer floorball n relay. hmm. n finally we talked. tht too only i made tha move to do so. i dunnnoe. are we gonna be back as bfo? i dunnoe. so many things tht have been said to make mie chnge my mind towards em. its not eassy. so not easy. walkin around wit heavy hearts. blueks. i hate this. i hate this.

aniwae, thn wenta central. got a teddy teddy fer radha. moro her bdae! anione readin this. shhh. dunt tell her k k. hehe. we dcided to name it tiara! cool. hope she likes it.

so nowe, just did hw. did amaths. i left ma lt textbk in skewl so i cant manage to do ma hw lah. badbadbad.

afta all tht, im still bored lah. yawwnns. byes ppl.

"Tha heys, hoos & hummms."

so ferst n foremost, id like to sae, my braces are off. haha. yesh yesh. but it feels so different. as though, like mai says, im bogel. haha. sumone wit no teeths on. haha. no worries, by next tues, i'll have sum metallic stuffs back ups. =) tht'll be tha retainers i think. haha. its fun wearin braces u noe. hahas.

i dint update since like sundae ryte? heh. nuthin intrestin lah. still tha same old same old. heh. mondae, finally getta see tha happy faces of frens who were off ta camps. n also to hear their stories. but sum are just too craps. i mean seein faces which i least expected.

u guys must have read ma blog eh? so nowe? blamin me? whowee. cool. so, tha past three years we've been tgether aint tha real you`s. heh. n nowe, insincerities are all around. hu cares ryte? hu gives a daym. well i do. sad to sae. nowe is like world war three. uh-huh. only tht u dont hear all those missiles goin all over tha places. hah. its tha 'cold-war' kakaka.

yest had ec, which is triple s. i dont find it benificial uh. listen to tht tcher blabber stuffs. fer a whole hour. craps. thn mai n phat came over. we wanted to get up tht ladder to tha rooftop but it is soo freakin scary n like high. asked twiggy to come help us out but he says he was sleepin lah. are you readin this? haha. cute. =)

tdae, went off from skewl at 1230. cool huh?! so skipped amaths n physics. both double periods. n not fergettin humans ec also. haha. reason - dental appoinment. reachd tha place kinda early. heh. but tha doc was late. thn he says wanna take off ma braceys. so he took em off, went fer cleanin n polishin n stuffs, thn x-ray. thn came back n chose retainers. doc says tha ferst 2 are free n tha rest are additional costs. i took tha four bux each. hehe. its nyce. but my mum dont noe. heh. she dont evn noe we hafta payy. haha. gotta pay anuther 600 bux. n tht retainers. i go pandai2 take tha ones which costs 4 bux each wen i can get tha free ones. haiz, nisa nisa. haha.

thn afta thy mat phat n mai jap. haha. n tdae i dunnoe lah. thers this one guy in mrt totally scared mie. he wenta walk to n fro n thn sat by mie n asked fer ma no. heh. scary sehh. i was just lookin ard n saw nj, amal n firz. so smiled at thm. i think this guy salah sangke. so i made this 'im-not-intrested-get-lost' face. hah. n he said take down his no. huh?! u wanna knal2 pon tk pass! if i take his no. i wouldt waste ma sms on u lah. oh-please. thn i said im attached. thn he say 'what? unattach?' i was like daym frust up, no mood to entertain this sorta ppl. i said 'as in i gota guy?!' thn he sae 'o-okay' freakkey tau! thn while slackin wit phat n mai at tha norrmal windy spot this 2 chinese werkers kept lookin. wads wrong wit mie tdae?! noooo!! haha. thn while walkin back ta interchnge mai said 'tdae mcm smua org tau kau da bkak braces gituk.. smua org tngok' haha. i was like crap lah. haha.

thn got back to 292. rached home. dunnoe wadta eat. i miss ma chocolates. heh. choco choco. wher are youuu? sobs. ahaha.

thts it ppl. thts my life updated n reported. mie, nisa signin outs! haha.

hey. bout tha previous entry, tha ferst para. i want kisses i mean not from him uh. huever u guys have in mind wen readin tht entry. i just missed it. tapii, if he wanna give me kisses id be delighted. id be on coud nine. i'll have butterflies. heee. uh-huh. haha. watever. dumdumdum. so hu wanna give mie kisses now?i want it from u okayy? haha.

"So, kiss me."

heh. i miss kisses. i need kisses. real ones. n not those spelled out ones. but thn again, its still nyce to get those. n those playful huggs just to reassure myself tht he still wants mie in his lyfe. those which makes mie feel loved somehow, somewhat evn if it lasts a few minutes. heh.

so tdae tdae. wenta catch up wit taufik! haha. i make it sound as tho hes ma fren. haha. nah. got passes to tha signin party thingy. so met up wit rafie ard 1 plus. like finally i getta meet him. heee. catched up on stuffs. cute. like duh. happy to have someone like him. heee. got ta sp at ard 2. heh. we were early but thers ppl already q-in. lucky fer us, wen we came, tha q aint tht long. at least not yets. phat n mai were late. haha. but not tht late. wen they reached tha q already reached the end of tha block and they made this muke-tembok n just joined us. lucky fer em no one actually took tha tyme to notice or nithin.

we were let insyde tha theater ard 3? thn waited insyde fer ppl to settle down n all till ard 3 plus. thn thers this video n all. cna was ther. caught tha news but they dint actually show evrythin. thn taufik came and we played games. i mean those chosen ones. power 98 djays were ther also. haha. thn aftar all tha hassle n bassle n watever. we were told tht we were given 5 items fer us to let him sign on. n take his pic n shake his hand n watever. hah. but tha manager was like so fuckin crap. she pushed evrythin awae, n rafie got a pic wit taufik. i bet its sure gonna b up in frenster once he uploads it. unda hes account tht is. hmph. n he signed tha album n at the end of tha dae, we got a huge huge poster of his. heh.

so afta tht went bax ta mrt n headed home. ferst thought of havin dinner or sumthin but was outta tyme uh. rafie wenta meet up his sis, mai wenta walk ard aimlessly ard tm. alone. n phat was already home i guess. and as fer mie i headed to tha 292 n took tha nxyt bussy. thn in tha bus, met n talked to n sat bside aizats cousin which is totally a bugg. ahh. really daym irri! hmph.

thn reached home. mum says wanna heads out fer dinner. wenta chai chee n had steamboat. yumms. thers this one guy, kinda gothin punky kind. soo cutte mann! haha. daym hot. haha. n he look like a caucasian! sial la. haha.

i was hyper on wae home. n mum asked wat course i was plannin to take. i dint tell her i was thinkin of biotech. thn she said dsigns. haha. n she was like `yea yea. dsign courses at temasek n sp are good good. haha. i was shocked okyy. dint expect ma mum to let mie go fer dsign courses. haha. so thts a thumbs up i gueess. n no wae im headin ta jc. evn ma tcher says its like a waste of tyme n ur years of enjoyment or sumthin. my tutor was shocked wen i said i dint wanna go jc. she said `gurl, thn y are you studyin so hard if u dun wanna go jc? haha. m i studyin too hard. i dun evn study! tha only tymes i studied was durin tuition lessons n mayb in skewl. haha.

so thts it fer tdae. shucks, moro thers tuition at 9 morn. my freakin bro dun wanna go ferst. fuck it. i gotta wake up early early! n homewerks are pilin! ahh!

nvm. bbuyes peeps! =)

"Happy Four Monthy"

heh. yawnss. im sleepy. im sufferin from lack of sleep. seriously. wad makes it worse is tht tha flu is back! ahhh! haha. nvm. yest slept at 2 cause of specific reasons. haha. so in total i had only like 4 hours of sleeep?! tht is sooo short. but hey, i am willing to blme maself fer tht. lolx.

yesterday was cool. haha. i got tha passes to this saturdae passes to taufiks signin party or sumthin. yeay. haha. at sp. an excuse to be outs from home. n get home late late! im so gonna ask my dude to tag along. haha. i was like still in dreamland wen ma dad said i got a mail or sumthin. heh. i was havin my nap okay! haha. thn blablabla la. wanna noe more ask mie.

thn todae. skewl is boring. all this are like - normal la. haha. went fer early early recess. 5 free periods. haha. 5 includin recess la. heh. thn afta tht wenta slack at windy spot no.2! haha. actualyy thts just a plce students do situps by tha field. heh. so tdae, we had 2 new ppl joinin mi n phat! haha. tht belo n princess. n guess wad we talked about?! we talked bout our ferst night. haha! first night as in tha ones afta gettin married n all. haha. so in otha werds sex lah. haha. im so open this daess. sheesh. tht belo was forever comical. wit expressions involved. haha. but really fun uh. we talked almost evrythin unda tha sun. yesh yesh. no worries. i wont go into further dtails. =X

thn had assembly. sumthin on ites n temasek poly. heh. temasek poly. okys oky, i dunnoe wad im talkin bout, heh. thn afta skewl wenta ngee ann poly. tht freakin ass tcher in chrge said tht we only had a one wae journey. crap crap. so mie mai jaz n phat made our wae to various places uh. we were like cravin fer free goodie stuffs. specially tht mai. n to imagine i gotta carry along ma whole bag which has amaths txtbk in it! k im not complainin. haha. cause i noe thers otha ppl tht caryy more books. fines. so thn we walked ard. fun fun. but tiring. bio engineerin or sumthin seemed fun. heh. `seemed.

so afta walkin all ard till like 6? we hadta walk all wae out n talk bridge over n stnd in tha bus. n its a long long journey back. so i was kinda undecided whether ta sleep or not in tha train. heh. alwaes undecided. wat more can i sae, thts mie.

so reached tamp ard 1920? reached home 10 minutes bfo 2000hrs. thn had tuition. *faints. howe worse can my life get. i was daym tired durin tuition so i jus took amaths n asked her to go thru sumthin on binomial. =X

so nowe, here i am. updatin sum crap on ma daily life. heh. i hate life nowe. but i cant wait fo saturdae. yeays? n tmr is like hari raya haj. n it feels so like nuthin. heh.

so thts it ppl, ollass!

"I want sweet nothins."

so tdae n yest i consumed like 4 bars of chocos. uhh. is tht alot alot? i dunnoe. but it definately is shweeet. haha. n first tyme tryin milky bar. haha. ivor bought it fer mie. actually i asked. haha. sweet soul. its kinda nyce n yummy. wad can i sae, its chocolateys. heh.

tdae kinda fun la. skewl had 3 periods of recess cause tt lau lazy to teach. he says no point in teachin wen almost evryone in class is out fer camp. howe much more lazy can tht tcher be. hah. so since bio is alwaes 2 periods bfo recess, we get those xtra periods la. n not fergettin tha absence of otha tchers. no humans fer this whole week. wohhooots. only needta suffer wit maths n sciences. sub sciences. yes. thts cool.

we're like totally slckin in class man. we'd waste our tyme takin candid shots, listenin ta msic daydream, talk, observe otha ppl etc. i mean mostly its mie la. hah. cant blame phat. lolx. im tha naughty one.

n sumethin made mie thinkin, read it from tht stinkys blog. i am not happy. my mates are happy. their happiness makes mie happy. he does make mie happy occasionally. if not he itd be `nashrounnie. haha. hope he wont read ma blog. they make ma day somehowe. but still, each tyme, theres this feelin of emptyness. n i hate tht. nvm. there this one article in 17 mag. at tha back. tha one on 'opposite attract'. was i wrong n stupid to let go? huh? i dunnoe. mayb u shud read tht article. heh. i dedicate tht article to u! read read okay! lolx.

thts it la. nuthin muchie uh. schools a bore. it forever is. lucky those twinnies are away on camp. phfew. no hardships. no heavy hearts to carry ard. sad situation. bleahs. i hate tha way i am. they make mie hate mie. she makes mie hate mie bein tha way i am bein mie. heh. if u understnd, good! if not, try harder! haha.

k lah, adios!

`fuck it. no comments to u guys. u guys just are just sick humans. wat more can i sae. dun wanna believe it but too bad its in black n white. so its real. n its writen by u ppl. so im not gonna b dumb enuff to not trust wads written. heh. u guys chnged. i wanna try to not CARE but then, u guys are "friends". mayb GUYS are much much more important in ur life. i really hate tha guts u have. those, "im-so-concerned. wads-up" kinda face and attitude. sick of tht okay. no sincerity. u guys are what? born liars?! definately ur mum or dad dint teach u tht. i want to vent out my anger. but i cant. cause once i strt, i wont stop. like tha tears tht fell wen i read tht piece of shit and made mie realise tht u are not tha person whu u used to be. n its gonna hurt u bad. i noe u noe. u guys are turnin into bitches or mayb not long later sluts. nowe ur not the ordinary gurl next door. u guys are like `minahs. sad to sae. so i dun wanna talk nimore bout this. its hurtin mie bad.worse thn ever i've felt. n to see tht it doesnt have any effect on you. if one of u twinnies are gonna read this shit i wrote thn think bout it. thn if not just "mampos la dgn drg." yeah. mampos la dgn drg. and tht i quote from one of u gurls. n wen i said its bout raf, sorry.. i lied. [guess wat? i must have learn it from you. wow. such fine tchers u guys are.] its definately not bout him.

n to tha gurls, fina aisha atiqa and co. thnx fer tha 'thts wad frens are for' really appreciate u guys bein ther fer mie n phat. glad to noe ppl like u guys in my life. =) have fun moro at camps!

so till next tyme i see u guys. i'll b outs thinkin bout this shit.

"0nly blue talk and love"

wad do u mean bby blue talk ah? isit tha dirrty stuffs kinda talk? haha. face it, my minds contaminated. hah. n im not washin it. kakaka. its good to be open minded n get dirrty at tymes. normal people are a bore. hah.

so tdae nuthin happpend much. as u can see, i updated earlier. yeah. so afta my parents n bro went outs, i sorta sneaked out. i mean not literally sneak out since they're not at home. wenta meet ivor thn jus talked n chilled fer an hour or so. thn went bax home.

hah. so singapore won. such "yeay-ness". hah. nuthin good la. thers gonna b apprentice on later. so gotta watch. hee. must must. n finally, i got tht number. yesha. haha

i feel wierd. nvm. tmr is skewl. shucks. hate tht. well aniwaes, nytes ppl! i feel happy. no ideas why. hope he's in skewl moro. miss him muchies. haha.

"September"

yesh. september. heh. tha song states its on 21st. mine 20th. 20092004! haha. yesh yesh. just came bax from dunmannie. kinda okay la. walked ard ard. wit huda n masse. at ferst came wit mum n bro. thn wen reached tha skewl all seprated leavin ma mum was left all alone. `awww. haha. thn walked ard. saw zu's cous i think. i think its her cous. n her frens. tha one wit tha nyce nyce eyes. gee. `jealous uh. haha.

yest was kinda of a bad dae fer mie. pretty fucked up wit parents la. n i gave em tha 'silent treatment' haha. fun tau.

thn lata at nytes called him uppys. talked tilll 2 plus morn. thn hang up thn slept la. woke up at ten. can u believe it 10?! u noe y? cAuse i thought both folks are at home n dint want dem to strt their naggin series so i wake up only to find my mum home. crap crap.

i feel left out not goin tonite. wen ma uncle got tix. sheesh. go ther to chck out tha ppl. not tha match. hah. my bros goin. wit ma dad sittin at grandstnd. sobs. i wanna go! haha. nvm ah.

i just need to go out.sick of sittin at homes. help help help. hw. i noe i got alot. but i lazy. s usual. n i wanna try to get excess to tha top of our block thingy. kinda tha rooftop thingy. but i dun wana go alone. anione? help mie find excess to tht place. i jus feel like slckin ther. mayb make a crib outta tht place only i noe. gee. thn any prob at any tyme can jus go up. yesh. tht'll b fun.

so thts it. nione wanna go out pls ring mie ups. im dead bored. ciao.

"Loadsa Double Triple Happiness!"

tdae is so *phew! haha. sucha kewl dae tdae! im so like overjoyed. i think uh. but ferst n foremost, my legs are crampin! ahh! i got like 2.4 run just nowe. tirin thn played captains ball. lagik saket tha kakis tau. thn class extremely stinky. blablabla. ni smua not important la people. later part important. hee.

k thn afta skewl, mie phat n mai all rush rush home. haha. we were so eager to get tha taufik cd. gee. haha. thn i met mai ferst, wenta cs sembawang, we thought da sampai skali not yet sia. haha. we were like kinda 'this is so not fair' haha. thn we headed to mrt. headin to town. again catchin taufik batisah in person. haha. yeayness.

so met phat at simei mrt. thn got these 2 ppl la. one is a gurl which resembles as a guy n anuther guy la. they were like snappin2 pictures of mie. so tha irri. i mean extremely irritatin.thn reached sourmeset. however u spell it la. thn headed ta cathy. got sum 17 thingy. hee. tha models are so not pretty or nithin la. so like `yucks. thn signed up since dpt promotion2 all uh. hee. im a loyal reader of 17 okay. evry month must buy. so nxyt monthys edition will haf taufik! haha. its be outs ard 18 jan? yesh yesh. ard tht date. hee.

so thn we're suppose to get free makeover n manicure. but tha q was long long. n we're already rushin fer tyme. hah. there we saw Yuzy, Nadia, n all her frens uh. thn zu n odz came. blahs. *no comments uh.

so thn we went off uh. cause all things we see are fuckin crap. n such eye strainers. hah. thn mie mai n phat wenta take neoprints. haha. nyceee. lolc. thn afta tht we rushed ta heeren. phat wanna get stuffs. haha. thn we rushed all again to cd-o-rama at orchard. n ther was this long long q. we asked thm y they q-in. thn they saw wanna see taufik. so we went in front uh. theres like no point of quein uh. thn wait wait n wait. haa. he like some huge supastar. come so friggin late uh. but mie mai n paht getta stand at fonrts u see. so tha very clear view. haha. thn he came. walau. all tha gurls were like pushin n shoutin. definately i shouted la. butt. not tht badd i think uh. n he shook ma hand n phats one too. n also touched mie n mai`s hand. haha. he's tall. daym freakin tall man. i loike. haha.

so thn he like over ther fer a while or somethin thn went off. blahs. n all tha gurls were like chasin2. haha. i was like tired already. so cass dcided to join us since thers some insincerity ard and also ditchin frens kinda stuffs. so in the end phat n mai went off. mie n cass walked ard town. she wanted to get stuffs. so i tagged along. it was fun la. thn left town ard 830 - 845. cass dropped at simei. so i was like on ma wae bax ta tamp alone. haha.

thn wenta sembawang got tha taufik cd. nyce mannn. *drools. especially tha song i put up. so like o.m.g uh. thn thought of goin to grannys house, but then its gonna b like an hour journey so dint go uh. thn jus got back n chilled. yesh yesh. after all tha washin up n all la.

tdae was soo fun uh. specially wit tha bestest people ard. but still i need to talk some sense insyde tht gurl uh. shes like bcomin a bitch uh. sad to sae. but its true. but hey, to fuck wit them ryte. k fines. bfo i get any vulgur better i sign off nowe. hees. nytes ppl!

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it. Everything happens for the best.


If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing it's chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.


Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get beckon the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.


To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self, to love is to risk not to be loved in return. How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.


Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that there were the things that helped you grow.


Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart.


Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love 'coz every time we do, we get hurt, then i figured that's why it's called falling in love.

_____________________________somethin i got from someone's blog. real touchin aint it? *sobs*

this is like so true. hah! a picture i can rlate to. like finally. 

"Sometimes you're just too cute to resist."

uhhh. do i look that sick? i noe im sick. i feel sick. n my bodys achin all over. mayb its bcus of tha tramendous no. of blood tht is lost. i feel gruesome. o nvm. my bibik says i look sick. all i want is a dae off. i sound as though im werkin. hah. but tht is like so hard fer ma dad to understnd. he says this is tha 'crucial' year or watevr crap. evn if hes not sayin i noe he thinks of it tht way. i dun wanna study. its crap. n its only tha 3rd day of tha 2nd week. n already tha tchers are gettin on ma nerves. they're pillin up hw like nobody's business. n blabberin bout stuffs which makes sense to them but nvr to mie. i dun find it useful sittin in class whole dae n listen to a tcher whu blabbers on and on to herself or himself. i find it kinda stupid. n punishes fer a ferst tyme offence which is gonna be takin up tha only free tyme we haf to actually take a break. some tchers jus dont use their freakin brains. they think that just bcus they went thru life the wae they did, we must go thru tha sayme thin as them. am i makin sense? hah! i feel useless. im tired. my brain is practically lazy to think bout anythin. n sleepy. n food deprived. n o yar. not fergettin tha LACK of over-indulgengence or over consumption of ma daily routine of choocoolates. i dun evn have tyme to get em! gawd damnit! urgghh.

im tiredd. lucky no tuition fer mie till saturdae. *phew* n howe do i get from orchard to marine parade? uhh. im so not street wise. uh-huh. howe howe howe? anywae, fridae is confirmed i can go outs. n o yar. walked past 206. our blue-white template of tha mountain is still up man! haha. they cant seem to take it off or sumthin. n to imagine its already aalmost 2 years! hah! such fine memories.. ahh.

so nowe ma mum asked mie to watch some courses which are available at polys. their bio n chem stuffs seems fun. so is tha mascom thingy. but i feel i wanna take art. not really take it la. well i dunnoe uh! i suck at draawwin all tht cartoons stuff. only if i put ma mind to it then tha end product wud be kinda okay. i like drawin stuffs which are basically nuthin? i'll jus make ma hand do all tha werk. thats usually happen wen i cannot sleep. thn i'll have ma sketch book on ma pillow. i'll either sit or lay down n face tha window n just stare at tha playgrd n houses n roads tht can b clearly seen from ma window. it gets freakky most of tha tyme. but its fun. =)

i think ryte. ive been bloggin bout craps todae ryte? yeah. so i'll end it just here k. n yesh. i can nowe contact rangga whenever. hah! he is of my reachable distance. thts so kewl. yesh yesh. =) so till nxyt tyme. too`raas.

CANDLEBURN- By Dishwalla

Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night

for someone

she lets herself go

like an angel in the snow

she lays down on her backdown on her back - she goes

take me over when I'm gone

take me over make me strong take me over when I'm gone will they burn for me

on Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design

she waits - for someone

tonight she'll give herself away

she'll break apart all by herself

its so easy how we come undone

take me over when I'm gone

take me over make me strong take me over when I'm gone will they burn for me

she pulls me in - strips me down

she pulls me in - turns me out

she pulls me in - strips me down

take me over when I'm gone

take me over make me strong take me over when I'm gone

will they burn for me

"I want you to want me."

im findin tha lyrics to this song but cannot find. sheesh. aniwae, im fallin sick. *sniff sniff
haha. mayb its due to tha p.m.s? hah. yea mayb.

nuthin to update la. nuthin intrestin happened. except fre tht rangga uh. all i can say is yeay? haha. some of em will get it. nvm.

skewl has been pretty borin. classes are gettin sleepier evn without tha perfect weather. since tha class has aircon. evry lesson will be jus as sleepy n borin n crappy. homewerks are pilin up. eyebags? gettin darker i guess. n ahh. tha flu. gettin harder to breathe!!

aniwae, uhhh. wad ah? o ya. on fridae. jus cant wait fer fridae. taufiks cd gonna b outs on that dae! yeay! and also me n ma gurls are headin to town fer some 17 mag membership thingy la. get makeover n a snapshot or sumthin. thn go chck out taufik! since he'll be performin ard town area on fridae at various places. chck out this webbie fer more details. http://razlanmanjaji.blogspot.com/ hee. so hope to see u guys aniwher ard town aytes. im definately gonna b goin home lates. i hope i can. i think i can. hee. hope hes free on tht dae too. =D i hope he can. hah.

so thts it. nuthin much. still da sayme things repeatin all over. gee. im bored.

"Nicee."

so i chnged ma skin. Wad u guys think? nyce nyce? haha. i like tha pics. her pics are daym nice. hee. well. any comments jus tag tag aytes. hee. tatas peeps. =)

"Better things are on its wae. And, Scottie doesnt noe."

well been a few days since i blog ryte? yep. kinda lazy. n nuthin much to update. in short - nuthin intrestin happened. yep yep. n people i wont blog bout rangga nimore. cause u noe, thers not gonna b anithin bout him until tha nxt time i see him n that will be like forever? well. sorry peeps. but surely will really tell u guys more if i bump into him agains.

m&ms are nyce.=)

so on thursdae wenta skewl fer cca fair. thers a new cca in town. i mean skewl. its tha cd thingy. tha guys are.. uhh. howe do i put it. not tht hot. but not tht dull/ugly. only one or two are just simply cute. thts all. met him fer a while or so. thn afta tht went home. thts all. borin rytes. hockey dint get tht much peeps n miss chin told us tht thers gonna b tournament by end of feb till april or march or sumthin. i dun wanna go. i hate playin. but i jus like tha thrill of defendin. hah! zu says thers gonna b not enuff peeps. i'll see howe things go. but i wont go fer trainin. my days are all already so tired. n packed. no wae im gonna make maself get more stressed up. sheesh. i noe maself. like i cant study after 10pm. dont ask mie why. just tht afta 10, my mind would stop functionin. cool rytes. haha.

thn fridae, uhm. loads of peeps dint turn up fer skewl due to tha cca fair. blablabla. had pe. kinda fun. so m havin p.e wit rad n bones' class. [dots] haha. n some otha classes. n also i got to noe some stuffs. which i wont actually say i would believe. cause its crap. fridae, met asnu fer awhile. bfo tht jus slacked at windy spot. heh. thn walked fer awhile thn got home.

had tuition fer both on fridae n sat. four hours of maths and amaths. bleahs. im so gonna do otha subs fer nxyt lesson. hah. thn yest had mad also. kinda okay la. thn at night wenta both ma grannies house. so yest was really a hectic dae. mornin tuition. afternoon mad. thn at night at grannies. yawnnn.

todae woke up at 12. hee. =D no one was at home. happyness. just did ma stuffs till 2 plus. n dad said tdae dun hafta study or nithin. like duh~ u expext mie to study tdae? i so wanna rest man! sheesh.

so thts it uh. nuthin much ryte. told ya already. sheesh. niwae, things are gettin better btw us. hope things would stae tht wae. *smiles

bbubyes peeps. see u guys ard!

"First Day of Sec 4. Sheesh."

time really flies. n nowe im already sec 4. im still in tha midst of believin it. haiz. i hate it. well, yest, ferstly wenta skewl. dad sent bro ferst thn mie. on wae met zu so she tompanged. haha. my shoe was like so big. blueks. haha.

gotta skewl. got tha aircon classroom. sleepy manx. haha. n its already cold, they go switch on tha fans. bloody hell. haha. well nominations fer class thingy were kinda crap. all were makin fun of each otha n also sabo-ins. haha. class leader n asst were not as expected la. clas leader si wei, asst jaz. haha. n mie, to be tha noticeboard i/c. *faints*. haha. but at least i can do up tha class, tha way I want it to be. haha. n they jus gotta agree wit it. haha. well, definately gonna b a fun year. i hope. *prays* haha.

so miss chin is our tcher. shes okay. i think she thinks tht i dun quite like her. haha. cause last year she was ma p.e tcher, thn theres some misunderstndings and all la. but still, i miss mr sekhar. haha. hes a fun fun tcher la. fun to make fun of n disturb. best part wen he has his mood swings. haha. really tha fantastic. haha. n if u wanna noe tha whole list of tchers tht we got, go to Lilphats bloggy. thn as normal mr ee blabber bout tha tsunami skewl disciplin blablabla. so its like tht.

so then yest, afta skewl, slacked ard at tha windy spot. mie n phats fav place. haha. so we jus chilled n observed ppl, specially that mom hu pointed her middle finger to her kidd, buys him ciggies, n still can lauff about it. sheesh. this werld is like gettin so -no comments uh- haha. got home blablabla.

thn tdae, nuthin much la. still, hols assignmnt still not done, still got some of amaths. yep. lazy la. thn uhmmm. skewl ends at 3 tdae. tht is like so late, n it its not evn includin tripple s n all. gee. i need sleep. bio is ferever borin la. tht lalau blaberin bout some stuffs, n its a nyce weather to snooze. n we combined wit 407 ppl. kinda okay la. n o yar, mdm rozy was like sayin some stuffs, like we're still takin up amaths n all. blablabla. thn skewl ended. afta skewl had tha comitee meetin. gotta do up noticeboard. deadline nxt fri. n afta tht, most probby would b tha class tees. i still havnt think of any specific nyce ones, any ideas? haha. time is realy flyin fast. sobs. thn it'll be 0s. thn poly. thn werk life. haha. im so thinkin overboard. k thn afta skewl mie n phat headed to central. go chck out tha minahs wit tha roxys or surf stuffs. haha. so tha tak kener u see. very tha eye strainin. but its nyce sayin ur comments and all, somthin like kutuk or wad la. but hey, i was just feelin rather high. n it'll be just A day. i hope. haha. n ya. christine lyes lesson are very fruitful i might sae, she has all these life experciences bout her personal n social life to tell us all. n its kinda nyce. very funny too. n u learn more stuffs specially phrases. i like this one, 'Out of sight. Out of mind' tht is like somethin. mayb i shud think of considerin tht. haha. no wae la. niwae, i'll post up more pharsses if i come across anyy. lolx.

thn got home, online, did some geo bfo 7. continued, thn did maths. im a goodie gurl. haha. so thts it la. moro lets see, skewl ends at ard 2. cause thers some camp briefin, thn i think i have tuition. thn if i dun have any plan or hw in mind tht nyte, i'll sleeeppp!! haha. thn thursdae go chck out tha cca fair if possible, thn fridae uhh.. wad shud i do? dunnoe ah. but gotta meet asnu on fri afta his prayers. thn sat, religios class. sun, sleepin n tuition. n thts it. first week gone just like tht. isnt it like fast? sheesh. n this is only tha beginin of sec 4 life! i need air! haha.

k lah. i wanna go chiao now. eyes teary already. sobs. haha. see u guys ard. =P

"2005 finally here."

2004. tha year wher so many things happened. the year wher i had tha most terrible heartbreaks and also letting go people im closest to knowin that theyd b wit someone else. seemed to b a very bad year fer mie. n also one which i dun think i'll forget easily.

strt of year. admitted to best class. somethin which i dint expext. somethin which i diint want. somethin which i think im totally regrettin doin well fer tha year ends of sec 2. but hey, things happen fer a reason. well, 306 anit tht bad. got to noe many people. a whole lot of em. and they are quite a fun bunch but most of tha tyme lame. competition fer tchers attention n also good grades are very high. had some pleasant memories ther.

but still, nth beats 206 n its company. miss those monkeys alots. we're tha bad ass people wit brains. but nowe, tha us are all scatterd everywher in tha sec 3 level. sheesh. miss u monkeys loads loads. hah.

so then this year found many people. get to noe loads of ppl. fer mie, from an unknown soul to mayb someone quite known? haha. im crappin. i found love. i lost love.miss his company. n hes kinda love. n his evrythin. had loads of crushes ? haha. i think so.

midd year, had loads of stuffs to overcome. exams. frenships. n others. i dunn quite remember. all i noe this year, i cried a whole lot. really bad ones. but evrythings fine. i got to noe ma gurls better. insyde n out. my guys better. have a tcher turn fren. n also from frens to enemies. yep. all tht in one whole year.

endd year, results aint great. but in the end found closer frens. more cliques. n more freedom given by parents. opened maself up more. b more open minded. n also outspoken. =)

badd year but good stuffs gained. loads more frenships. =) to tha ppl i noe, if i tend to hurt u guys or anithing, im definately sorry. n mayb we could strt afresh this year. will definately value ur frenship.
==============================
MY GURLS :::
=
to impx = hey gal, sorry fer any misunderstndins i had witcha last year. ur really a great gal n ma greatest company. n not fergettin cousin. hope to go thru our nxyt year tgether. lolx. dun b sad or nithin, im n we're alwaes b here. *smiles*
=
to zu = my gurlfren. haha. tha gurl wit tha most outsyde contacts. lolx. shre most stuffs wit her. n shes definately a great company but sumtyme do bug me. haha. but were always b tgther. haha. like ma dude says. shes ma gurlfren.
=
to oda = sumone whus has tha same mindset as mie, i mean tha dirrtyyness. hah. funny thing bout us is that we dont click wen havin convos online or phones. but we do wen we're outside. sorry fer all tha badd remarks i said.
=
all in all, may we b closer n last as long as forever bestest frens. love u gals loads. cant wait wen skewl reopens. we'll b backs tgether. yeayness.
==========================================
TO OTHA FRENS :::
=
to mai = u cuhrayzee belo gurl. haha. i like bein ur fren. haha. had alot of fun moments n complete blurr moments tgether. haha.
=
to fyna and all otha gurlfrens im close wit. [rai, cass,aisha,jaz,etc] = u guys are great. all tha best. n will miss u guys afta 0s.
=
to skunk = soryy fer all shit i did to u this year. ur a great guy. i dint see tht wen i was wit ya. till this past month. but in all. im really extremely sorry. n thnk yew fer providin mie wit ur love care n support. hope u will quit smokin. ur tha greatest fren a gurl could ever ask. lolx. will miss ya wen this year closes. `stinkyfaced. hahas.
=
to ivor = hey dude. anuther best dude on ma list. best fen ferever! haha. sad tht things dint werk out btw us.. but ur alwaes ther to refill ma sweetness n also provide mie wit tha smiles n laughters. will nvr ferget tha tyme we spent tgether. specially tht one. those things which flew to tha skies above. hope u get wat i mean. u chnged evrythin this year. dunnoe y. like u said. fate was bein mean. but then, we gained a very close frenship. well see ya ard. n hope things wud werk out n all. *smiles*
=
to radha n meiyan = we'll rule 406 this year! muahaha. continue tha slackineesSss! haha.
=
to tha tcher turned fren = im still waitin fer tht cd. sheesh. wen is it comin. pls send it. pls pls pls!
=
and not fergettin tha sec 4s n 5s. [nj,adil,amal,hasli, etc] = will miss you guys alot alot. n hope to see u guys ard. *muahx!* love u guys. haaha.
============================================
TO PPL OUTSYDE EVSS :::
=
Primary skewl ppl = asnu n co. dint noe we'd be some close bunch by end of year. u guys are great frens. haha. enjoy tha company n especially laughters. hope we'll be as close as we get older yar? lolx.
=
to 6/2 gals = all best fer 0s! we'll hang out soon!
=
to fir = sorry fer wad i did. hope u fergive me. great fren. hope we'll stae in contact.
=
to tht 19 yar old dude = hee =) u make ma dae. u make mie smile. n u make mie stay up all night feelin guilty to hang up! hmph.
==========================================
to anione else ive missed out, all tha best in lyfe. =) n sorry fer evrythin.
n also those whu lost their lives in tha recent events. my condolences sent.
==========================================
not fergettin ma dude, i was happy wen u came inta ma lyfe. but it was utterly heart shatterin. i missed you n ur old ways. most of all i miss you. ur company n all. i know ur busy n all. but seriously sometimes i just need you to make my dae, n not anione else. i hope we could have a better relationship . n you to be a better boyfriend, so i could b a better gurlfrend. i hate my ways tdae. n i need tha feelin of bein loved n lovin someone. n hopefully that someone is you. i want you bad. seriously. =/
===========================================

finally. my new years resolutions.
1. concentrate n do well fer 0s
2. have fun n njoy lyfe while studyin hard.
3. gain more frens n not lose any of em.
4. b a better person. no more sarcasm. b more humble. i hope.
5. n to get to noe tht 6th floor dude. hmmm. haha.

i'll just stick to tht ferst. aniwaes, thts it. bbyes. =)